Soo heavy

I am tired… It is soo heavy. I feel soo heavy. On the inside. On the outside, I feel like this giant hand is pushing me down. Like gravity, but not in the body. In the soul.

This grief. I can’t explain it. I know it makes sense in a way, my therapist did tell me about that. But it is soo heavy. I want to close my eyes and be gone. But not forever.

Just for a little while, I would like to cease existing. Living is hard. It is worth it, but it is hard anyway. I knew there would be a storm, even when I could see the rainbow right after it. I was ready for all of this…

But still, it is heavy.